Thoughts & feelings | Me, my kink and I

May

A wonderful day

So today started much as any period of 24 hours does, me being awake till a silly point (4am today) before going to bed. Up around 9.30ish then after making me and Miss hot drinks having a time to wake up properly, we went for some delicious coffee and brunch at my favourite place. I’ve really come out of my crossdressing shell these past few weeks, and weekend before we went shopping for me and picked up a few bits and bobs, namely some leggings, skinny jeans and a dress t-shirt with a coffee quote. It was our anniversary weekend which we extended to a 4 day break and had a really nice time.

When we got back from brunch Miss wanted some fun, so I was stripped out of my skinny jeans and down to my lingerie. Miss had put my collar on (my leather anniversary gift to her) and we made our for a while with me leaning over her with her spanking my ass. Then she used her favourite toy to make herself cum. After another period of time chilling we went for a dog walk (Miss having forgotten about the collar completely), it felt kind of like the first time goikg out with chastity, or plugged. It’s a snug collar so every movement of it kind of triggers the reminder its there.

Also had an amusing realisation from Miss where shes realised she leans more toward being pansexual than hetro because she’s still super attracted to me in pretty lingerie and me leaning more towards gender fluid (this then resulted in my doing a mini “one of us” chant lol).

Oct

Heightened horniness

These last couple of days I’ve become some what of a messy panties sissy. I’ve basically been on some sort of heightened state constantly which has resulted in the slightly aching balls and frequent leaks into my panties.

It’s been a constant battle with Miss also not feeling great, me being in the office both days. I’ve been behaving and looking after Miss without a thought for my release.

So here I am sat on the couch, Miss wrapped up with a hot water bottle wish she feel better soon.

Sep

Making use of mild insomnia

Last night as many nights really, I found myself unable to sleep so rather than just fester or play games like I’d normally do. Instead I took the time provided by my abnormal sleep to epilate my legs and bikini line, it does make me feel more me (the sissy bitch me) so after my drive to work this morning one of my couple of days in the office a week I keep finding myself enjoying the feel of my smooth legs through my silly both clothes.

Annoyingly it does seem that the sleep abnormality is tied to work because the entirety of last week whilst we were on holiday I was able to sleep normally.

I know bit of a strange update for me but as I use this more as a journal figured I’d put this out into the aether.

Aug

Fitting

So a female friend of mine posted about an online bra fitting site a couple of months ago, I spoke to Miss about it as this sissy has never had a real bra and we decided after pay day that Miss would measure me up and we’d look to get one for me. It’s something I’ve always been curious about, and being on the chubby side I can have quiet a good cleavage *blush*.

Am looking forward to it, both the measuring by Miss (which will have its own bit of humiliation even if Miss just grabs a tape measure and cracks on with it) and then the looking and shopping for something in my size. As I say with the cleavage I hope we can find something pushuppy to and maybe something more for everyday wear under boy clothes. I’ve got a few bralettes which do a bit already so fingers crossed.

So hopefully this time next week I’ll be able to dress up and have a bra 😮

Aug

Yet another week

Starting the week as I mean to go on, attempting optimism which is in itself strange. Today I went with a very cute thong for my underwear choice.

I’ve been caged a little over a week now and starting to feel it, my need to be penetrated, used or humiliated has been on the rise throughout too. Its clearly tied to the cage and the feeling of being owned that gives constantly.

We’ve both been a bit tired but I’m trying to keep ontop of that and stay in the mindset but still have slips of snappiness related to the tiredness.

Aug

Almost forgotten feeling

After so long not doing anything for my sissy side, this weekend has been like a second (or third, or fourth etc.) coming. Yesterday was spent getting nice and smooth with a nearly all over epilation (still need to ask Miss to deal with my sissy ass) and the majority of today was a very thorough enema.

After all that I’ve been feeling so much lighter and happier, even though I’ve only just finished. I feel ready to be my sissy self again and be the slutty sissy Miss deserves to please her. Short but sweet post for now.

Dec

Thoughts and such over the festive season

Having been walking pooch each evening in sissy clothes, it really got me thinking how much I enjoy dressing up. Especially being a little show off slut like I was the other night. I’ve always been a bit more uninhibited than the average person but dressing up and being outside makes me that little bit excited, that little bit scared and all the turned on.

I’ve been caged pretty much all of this month which probably adds to that last part but it does make me want more clothes, a better option for hair management (currently looking at home laser hair treatment options). Then once covid has come and gone (or is more under control) I could in theory just get the areas the home laser treatment can’t do waxed.

In other news Christmas has come and gone and I love everything Miss got me, she gave me a few bits before we travelled to family (few kinky items) and we brought everything else over with us and I’m over the moon with everything and glad everyone enjoyed my first Christmas Dinner (although for a much smaller group than normal due to following all the guidelines :))

Nov

Extended break

With everything that’s been going on with the world, Miss decided we would take a break from all things kinky a few months back. So besides daily panties we’ve done no kinky activities. This also coincided with both of us (at separate points) leaving a discord community we’d been members / admins of for a long while.

The community had become something different from when we joined, and both of us felt whilst it had become much more active it also became a bit more unwelcoming. For me especially it was a tough decision to leave and it took a lot of thinking about before I did. Honestly though I think it’ll be very difficult to find somewhere like it used to be, and the biggest thing honestly is how unwelcoming it had got for femdoms due to a change in the verification process they implemented.

Anyways outside of that we’ve managed to beat the Rona blues by welcoming a new member to our household (our own little fur baby, who we rescued and she’s been amazing!). Anyway hopefully be posting a bit more in time to come but thought I’d give a brief update in the mean time.

Sep

Being a little energetic

As Miss went to bed I started getting random “fantasy scenarios” pop into my head, so I messaged the first to Miss (it was that she sent me out for a drive dressed as I was), messages continued and it became evident that I was very sexually coiled (to quote myself “you’re driving me mad with lust… and I like it”).

Miss decided it would be a good idea if I went for that little drive and took some photos whilst I was out. I took a few in the car before setting off below.

Then I started my drive, deciding to drive over to nearby Castleton, as I was setting off plugged, dressed and caged I could feel just how excited I was as Miss’ cock began to leak in its panties. Clearly I was worked up and I was really liking it (its the effect Miss has on me!), as I was driving there were several cars I drove past which I wondered to myself if they could see me. Then driving through some of the slower roads (its in the country with several 60/50 mph roads on the way there, but also villages with 30mph limits) I was passing people and again wondering if they could see this sissy sat in the car driving which just proceeded to get me more excited.

For the little photo shoot I took after getting out of the car I took a photo of a nearby sign to show where I had been to Miss with evidence, as well as several pictures of myself which I quickly messaged to Miss.

I had a ton of fun and excitement on the drive there and back, constantly wondering and constantly excited. I hope I made Miss proud x

Sep

Feelings lately

So lately you may have noticed my post increase (and thanks to the kind people that have commented etc.). I think this has mostly been because recently I’ve been in a very mentally submissive state for a prolonged time, I know a lot of the time you hear the line “I’d do anything” etc. and of course I know there are limits (scat being the first to spring to my mind at least), but within my limits I would be willing to do anything that Miss asked, not that I wouldn’t normally but there’s a definite urgency to please her by doing what she wants, trying to go that extra mile and do things before she asks, being more willing to stretch myself and do more.

Its a bit like “Well I’m a submissive normally, but the way I’ve been I’ve felt super sub” and its difficult to explain. I’ve been like this since Miss first locked me recently, my ass is always ready to do whatever she wants (in more ways than one). We don’t really have many/any kinky friends really so there’s not really anyone to talk to about it (that I’m aware of anyway) so it can be tricky at times to kind of vocalise how I feel beyond talking to Miss.