Thoughts after a conversation
Chatting with another sub online the other night, he was going through a tough time because of something he’d been aroused by and thought that he wanted to act it out because the level of arousal. After chatting for a while and describing experiences that were similar in that I sometimes have fantasies regarding cuckolding, being outed to family etc. which can all be extremely vivid, extremely personal and exceptionally provocative during those times when I do. However and it is a very big however I know that those aren’t things I ever want to truly experience I get that for others they’re kinks they live and breath but to me they’re on my list of “Most definitely, 100% no”, cuckolding for example I think would damage my relationship with Miss (who for new readers is also my wife) and that isn’t something I would ever risk regardless, it’s also something I don’t think I myself am mentally strong enough for not for it to actually happen I’ve been in relationships in the past where I’ve been cheated on (several times off the top of my head 3). Each time its hurt in unimaginable levels and whilst I imagine for some there’s a sense of catharsis in having some limited control of the situation, or even putting themselves through similar situation etc. but for me its a big blazing red light.
His fantasies were scaring him as they were on the extreme side of the kink world and I like to think I helped guide him a little bit.
It really got me thinking how over the years (I’ve dabbled, and fantasized about Femdom, chastity etc. for christ nearly getting on 2 decades… SCARY FACE MOMENT!) I’ve grown to kind of (not completely but getting there with help from Miss) work out what it is about kink that I like, what it is I want and need and looking back how whilst not the thirsty subs you get online lol how I’ve grown in my knowledge and understanding of myself and kink. I also recently picked up a copy of the “Yes, No, Maybe Workbook” which I’m looking forward to going through and see if I can expand on my understanding even more (I read voraciously and when I get into a subject I NEED to know things).
I’ve been having a lot of desires for humiliation and the lack of control aspects of play these last couple of days whilst caged, but yesterday was absolutely exhausted to the point I got home, went on the computer a short time before eating then hastily collapsing to sleep on the couch. Part of why my goal today (mini goals and such) is to sleep before 2am, something which hasn’t happened in several weeks!
So signing off on route to succeeding in that goal. As always anything anyone wants to ask regardless of subject or anything please feel free, I always respond to my comments and really appreciate input.
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Last nights fun
After spending a lot of hours dealing with an enema that was a long time in coming, I asked Miss if I could be locked. First she told me no, but she was planning to lock me later however after spending some time on the couch Miss came back into the room to say she’d changed her mind and that yes I could be locked now and to meet her in the bedroom.
On going into the bedroom I was told to strip (I was dressed in a pair of tiktok leggings (they’re amazing!)) and then told to get between her legs and kiss the parts which still hurt from being epilated the day before, kissing away like my life depended on it Miss started grinding herself on me and had me kissing her lips with the same vigor in no time (I admit I leaked on the bed sheets during this). She then forcefully pushed me away and told me to get the toy she’d got me for our anniversary, Miss tried putting it in but it was a tiny bit too big so I took over trying to get it in as I could judge the angle better, during this Miss would tug on her cock and balls which was painful but felt amazing being totally at her whim. After taking a minute out to relax myself I eventually got the plug in, and Miss started to play with the remote (it vibrates and has a part that makes it feel like being rimmed!) and I was in total pleasure whilst Miss still mercilessly teased her cock and balls.
Then Miss stopped and told me to start licking her ass whilst she was on all fours playing with her favourite toy, I couldn’t get enough of being her sissy ass licker and after I don’t know how many orgasms Miss lay down and we cuddled.
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A very interesting evening
So following the UK changes to Christmas & the tier system our family plans took a major hit, which lead to me needing to take a trip to collect presents so they can be shipped to my sister. Normal drive there (although plugged, wearing fishnet tights, and a pink basque) but on the way back Miss had decided that I was to change out of my silly boy jeans and into a more appropriate skirt. To be followed by sending picture evidence, now the road between our city and Manchester is hilly and remote but fairly well travelled so I had to find a spot to stop over.
After finding a spot, I turned off the engine took out the key and ran to the passenger side of the car. Taking my shoes off outside lead to cold feet but I was too excited to care. I hurriedly took off the jeans and started taking a few snaps for Miss to enjoy, at which point cars started passing me stood in the dark next to the car (inside lights on) full beams of these other vehicles in my direction, I have no way to know what they saw but it made my blood pump so fast thinking someone may have seen this sissy little bitch by the road side, or thought they just got a view of a woman changing.
After letting my heart slow a little I got back into the car and moved on thinking of home and Miss, it wasn’t till I got to the next layby that I thought it was a nicer spot for some outside the car snaps getting excited again I was out of the car without any hesitation this time a few cars rushed by and I knew I looked hot as fuck and didn’t care what they saw, again out comes the phone and snap snap snap flashes in this black wilderness occasionally sprayed with car lights.
When I got home eventually after driving through McDonalds drive through all dressed up and masked to pick up our food I find Miss on the couch with our puppy all snuggled not feeling herself. So we ate looked after our pooch and I took her for her nighttime walk, several times having to bend right over (no one around) to stroke a very nervous slightly poorly pooch.
And that leaves me here, dressed up and horny but wishing a pooch and Miss to feel better.
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Extended break
With everything that’s been going on with the world, Miss decided we would take a break from all things kinky a few months back. So besides daily panties we’ve done no kinky activities. This also coincided with both of us (at separate points) leaving a discord community we’d been members / admins of for a long while.
The community had become something different from when we joined, and both of us felt whilst it had become much more active it also became a bit more unwelcoming. For me especially it was a tough decision to leave and it took a lot of thinking about before I did. Honestly though I think it’ll be very difficult to find somewhere like it used to be, and the biggest thing honestly is how unwelcoming it had got for femdoms due to a change in the verification process they implemented.
Anyways outside of that we’ve managed to beat the Rona blues by welcoming a new member to our household (our own little fur baby, who we rescued and she’s been amazing!). Anyway hopefully be posting a bit more in time to come but thought I’d give a brief update in the mean time.
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An exciting dream
Last night seems my mind couldn’t get a break from its horniness, when I woke up this morning found myself struggling against the cage even more than normal after my little nocturnal movie.
Slept through the night but woke with a memory of dreaming the following…
Miss had me fully dressed and plugged late at night, took me to the car heels and all then had me drive out to the countryside. It was when we got there she had me get out of the car and bend myself over the bonnet of our car, arms outstretched. She then tied one of my wrists, ran the rope around the car and then tied my other wrist. She did the same with my legs, so I was there fully dressed up all slutty and spread eagle bent over the car.
Once she had me right where she wanted me she proceeded to pull down my g-string, took out my plug and started licking my hole like it was her first meal on months. After she’d had enough of eating it she spanked my ass raw, with some balls slapping for good measure. Then she got some toys out of the back of the car and fucked me senseless until I lost track of time. Then she untied me had me lay on my back and face fucked me till she’d cum so much my face was covered with her delicious juices. Then without letting me clean up had me drive us home for some after play cuddling on our couch.
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A good day
Miss decided it’d been too long since our flat had a good clean so today I’ve been dressed in a too short summer skirt (bum exposed), white blouse, pinky bralette, pink g-string and plugged. Started with the kitchen which is nearly spotless, having a short break for a smoke and sit before moving to do the kitchen floor.
Miss gave me a nice little spanking whilst popping the plug in and today more than most she could have me do anything she wanted. I’m in such a nice little sub bubble that she could use me in any way she wanted.
As I know you’ll read this, love you Miss. X
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On goes quarentine
So with our wedding anniversary coming up and all of Miss gifts having arrived (woop!). I’ve been doing my best to stay in a state that Miss could at any time use me in any way, dress me up, use me etc. so my insides are sparkling and I’m smooth. Unless I’m having to go out I’m basically at most in panties but always ready for if Miss wanted to dress me up.
We’ve not been up to much lately because the quarantine is getting to us both at various points, but I’m doing my best to stay up beat about everything. Realistically it’s more about trying to keep each other sane and not get at each other, we’ve been doing lots of dnd and also family bits once a week or so to catch up with them as we only really have my family as such that we keep in touch with, it’s my sis, dad and aunt who all seem to be doing OK thankfully.
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A weekend of looking after
Miss came down in pain on Saturday morning (Friday night as she went to bed). So the weekend was spent looking after her mostly, making her call the non emergency NHS number on Sunday night which resulted in a rather unexpected visit from a pair of lovely ambulance men, net result of which was “Call the GP in the morning”, although they did offer to take her into hospital.
Monday when we she got the call back resulted in a couple of prescriptions for a large amount of pain meds. Thankfully she’s starting to feel better and got a much better nights sleep last night (as did I, I’d previously had 2 sleep less nights with a few naps during the days to top up).
Hoping we can get some play in once she’s feeling better and definitely looking forward to restarting our daily walks. Neither of us has come down with CV19 as yet which is good news, and we’re still taking all the precautions advised. Can’t wait to get back to some normalcy.
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Planning our 1 year anniversary gift.
With first year anniversary gifts being paper in format, Miss is planning to do an event (after this whole isolation thing is over). I’ve taken a different tact, and begun trying to write our own Contract, and Rules documents which I intend to print and have us sign if thats what she would like. At the moment I have a rough outline of the contract and some basic rules.
Its got the standard approach of the dominant (Miss) being able to modify, add or remove rules with notification and also an opening note with a few words (attempting to be vague about this as its still an anniversary “GIFT” so meant to at least be a bit of a surprise). Anyway with everything thats going on in the world, we’re both working from home and have been for a little over a week. Miss is running out of things to do (given her work is really not suited to working from home) whereas I’m actually finding my work pile growing as my entire job can technically be done from home.
We’re both doing quiet well overall, if a little cooped and stir crazy. We’ve been playing WoW to make use of the 100% XP bonus and have something to do together, we’ve struggled to get some of the things we normally would but are generally just making do with things.
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A day of fun :)
Miss has had a cold recently but just got over it on Saturday thankfully. Yesterday after finding the charger for our wand and having it nice and fully charged, Miss demanded an orgasm which I duly provided starting with warming her up with my mouth and kissing and moving to her using the wand with me tightly locked away.
Later on she needed cock and had me unlock and allowed me to fuck her to completion. After that I was allowed to stay unlocked for a while, and I used the time to epilate from my chest down. I wanted to epilate as my chest is such a sod for coming back spiky in a day, I started with my legs and painted my toe nails a nice red and my fingers with clear polish. After doing my legs, bikini line and tum I very nearly forgot my chest (silly me!). I skipped my armpits because there’s only so much I could take.
Me, my kink and I 